What Can You Say

To someone who is newly diagnosed, what can you say? How can you make them feel as though the entire world hasn't just crumbled before them?
This is one of the most difficult things that I have been presented with over the past going on five years. We found the other PALS (People with ALS) in the first few weeks after being diagnosed. This was incredibly important in order to have someone to listen to you who knew exactly where you are coming from, and for me, had a wife that could listen to Julie and to understand what her concerns, fears and questions were.

I have surmised this: God has a plan for each of us and I believe he only puts trials in our life that he knows we can handle. Also, it takes an extremely strong individual to go through ALS with a good attitude and optimism to help others and to be a strong soul for those that we love around us.

Put those two things together, and that means that God thinks you are just such a person. Newly diagnosed patients are, of course, new to this reality and this news. Although it never stops shocking you each day that you're dealing with this, it does however, get easier to live with and to accept. What are you going to do, crawl into a hole and be depressed all day, no fun to be around? No, you must continue living and taking each day one at a time to slowly adjust to your new reality. You can do this pissed off, or you can slowly come to peace with it. It is all a decision that you may! (and of course, don't shy away from antidepressant help) This is not a weakness or a lack of faith in God, it just readjusts the chemicals back to the point at which they were before you found out this news and drove them to depletion.

My thought was to keep working at my job, but then it became apparent to me that I should be spending the most capable and energetic years with my family and kids. I quit work approximately 2 years ago and feel so much better that I have spent more quality time with my family than I probably would have spent over the next 10 years.

The newly diagnosed ALS patient will become stronger and they will find something that gets them up every morning and find something that they are passionate about to give them that drive. It is crucial that you discover this and it took me over two years. I kept asking why me? Why would a young guy with two children be afflicted with a terminal disease? What good could come of it and if God has a plan, I would like to know what it is. That is certainly not to say that you will be in a terrible situation in the near future, it is just to encourage you that this shock will subside. For sure, whether in two months from now or one year from now, you will find peace with this situation and a place from which to make a difference in the world. It is not for you to be strong for yourself, but for you to show others how life is to be lived no matter what life has thrown at you.

1. Don't overwhelm yourself with Internet searches and research just yet. Focus on life and fun! Intensely love those around you!

2. Don't talk about ALS and your future after 6 PM each evening. Rest, relax and don't let this topic take over all the conversations with your wife or other family. It does no good to help you fall asleep in the evening.